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Showing posts from April, 2017

A Note to My Husband

Week four.  To my husband: I never fully anticipated the range of emotions I would go through after having our daughter. I saw you in a new light and felt truly loved for the first time in a long while. It's not that I didn't feel loved before our daughter arrived, but like most marriages, we had lost touch and had sunk into a mundane routine that was comfortable for both of us. When I went into labor, it was clear that you loved me. Perhaps for the first time, you saw me in pain and knew that I was sacrificing my body for something we had worked hard for. When she was born you willingly did anything for me from making me breakfast and bringing me Starbucks to reassuring me that I was doing a good job, especially with breastfeeding. Two weeks later, you returned to work and I set off on my own to keep our child alive while at the same time trying to maintain my own sanity. You sent me daily texts letting me know how much you appreciate me and asking me what you can do. W...

Enjoying What Is

Week three.  "I can't do this anymore" I said as I practically tossed our 3 week old baby at my husband at three a.m. Our daughter had been nursing non-stop for almost three hours at this point. Each night I have gone to bed with a positive outlook; Z will sleep for a few hours, she'll nurse then go right back to bed, and we'll all wake up at 8 o'clock feeling restful! My mom had warned me that having expectations as a new mom would be to my detriment, but I thought by being positive that maybe I could control the situation. Not so much.  I finally gave in at 3:30, brought my daughter downstairs and turned on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, which, thank God, is always on TV. She nursed one last time and we finally fell asleep at 4 a.m. - me snug on the couch, my feet touching the poop stain Z had left on the couch the day before, and Z cradled in my boppy pillow to prevent her from falling off the couch. Sure, this wasn't ideal. I'd rather she be ...