Dealing With the Uncomfortable

Weeks five and six. 

I have been thinking about this post for a few days now (which has turned into weeks because I haven't had a chance to sit down!).... The idea of how discomfort applies to motherhood. In life, I believe how successful you feel depends on how well you cope with being uncomfortable. There are many areas in my life where I have felt, or feel, uncomfortable. For me, I feel uncomfortable with the unknown. I remember my first few years teaching and coaching (new jobs), often worrying what others thought and questioning if I was doing a good job. Establishing new friendships has always been difficult for me because, despite my confident demeanor, inside I wonder how others perceive what I say and how I say it. I've always struggled with physical changes; if something new happens to my body, I need to know what it is.  And in the era of social media, I will spend many hours Googling, looking for answers or just others who can relate to my discomfort. Or, when that doesn't help, I'll talk it out with a friend or a therapist, trying to figure out why I feel the way I do.  

For me, early motherhood is kind of like this. It's a new job that entails many new tasks from breastfeeding to learning baby's cues. There are changes to your body, many of which are hard to explain because you've never felt them before. So while you try to balance your new job, you are also learning to adapt to the new you. Discomfort is easier to cope with when there is an end in sight. When you're a new mom, though, you feel like the sleepless nights will never end and breastfeeding will always hurt. And despite the fact that all moms that will tell you, "it gets better, I promise", you have a hard time believing them. It seems that having a baby doesn't change the need for connection, but rather enhances it. There have, and I'm sure will continue to be, many nights where I Google or troll Instagram looking for answers as to why my baby isn't sleeping well or hasn't pooped in a week. Or why my nipples suddenly hurt after pain-free breastfeeding for weeks. Because after all, there must be an answer for every bit of discomfort I am feeling. 

In the end, I am learning that I cope with discomfort by knowing that others have felt the same way. In a way, this normalizes what I'm feeling and validates my feelings. But I'm learning that not everything has a reason. Some things just are. This is what is so difficult for me; not having an answer for all that happens. While I don't know it all, I do know that those moms were right: It does get better.